Emergency Fundraiser: We Need a New Roof

Emergency Fundraiser: We Need a New Roof

Go Fund Me link: https://www.gofundme.com/help-wes-amp-his-family-get-a-new-roof

See also: Important: Note from Wes – My Breaking Point

For anyone who can help – our roof is badly damaged and in need of replacement. It is sagging in some areas, and in some rooms of the house, the ceiling has visible water damage.

One roofing company estimated that it will cost at least $5,000 to fix, but it could cost more if the roofers discover more damage.

Here are some pictures of the damaged, sagging areas of the roof as well as a photo of water damage in the ceiling in one of our rooms. Continue reading

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(Updated) Important: Note from Wes – My Breaking Point

Update: I have set up a Go Fund Me for our roof, which you can find here: https://www.gofundme.com/help-wes-amp-his-family-get-a-new-roof.

We also accept donations via PayPal (wesremal@yahoo.com).

We greatly appreciate anything you can give, and we would also appreciate if you could share our Go Fund Me page on your social media.

If my words in this article make it seem like I’m giving up on writing or running the blog, I promise that is not the case. I plan to continue writing for the blog and the Weekly Awareness Guide, but for this post, I needed to get out some stress.

I’m also (pretty badly) in need of financial help to ensure I can continue to run the blog, which is one reason I’m experiencing so much stress and anxiety. But, to reiterate, I’m not going anywhere for now.

Dear readers,

I need to be honest about why I haven’t been posting to the blog this week. It’s been a rough week for me emotionally, as I’ve been experiencing intense anxiety and panic attacks over a few things I will elaborate on here.

Last Friday night, something happened in my home that I’d prefer not to explain. A problem we were having in the home that we didn’t know the extent of had suddenly become much worse. For whatever reason – I think there were multiple reasons – I couldn’t handle it.

I had a massive panic attack that lasted for over two hours. Throughout most of it, my wife couldn’t calm me. I was shaking, breathing uncontrollably fast, and crying hysterically.

I’m not proud of it, and it’s very, very embarrassing to admit. I’m a grown man who had a huge panic attack and could not stop crying or freaking out over something I should have been able to handle. I only admit it to give you context as to why, again, I haven’t been around this week. I promise it was not out of neglect.

Eventually, I was able to calm down. In the days following, we’ve been dealing with the problem in our home the best we can. It’s not completely dealt with, but we’ve made significant progress. Our family has been great about helping us, and I can’t thank them enough.

My fear and anxiety did not stop when I finally calmed down Friday night. In the aftermath of the panic attack, I’m still struggling with bad anxiety and panicky feelings.

Last night (Wednesday night), I had another panic attack – this time over something else I’m afraid will go wrong in this house. This was a much smaller panic attack but was nonetheless overwhelming.

In a moment I will explain what I believe to be the source of this overwhelming anxiety. But last night, I was again feeling freaked out.

Something is going on with me. Everyone has been telling me it will be okay and recommending I take things one day at a time. But I’m fighting a continuous battle with fear, stress, anxiety, and more recently, depression.

I’ve been working hard this week on things that have to do with my home, and staying busy does help me occupy my mind. The moment I stop working and try to relax, however, it all comes rushing back. I feel too afraid to relax my mind, which means meditation is not an option right now.

I’m trying to stay busy, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. I need to get this out in writing – for my sake and for those of you who may wonder where I’ve been and if everything is okay over here. I wish I could say it is, but if I’m being honest; I’m struggling more than ever.

My anxiety stems from the fact that I’m not making enough of an income through writing or running the blog. My dream is to work from home and make a living doing what I love – writing, podcasting, and all that great stuff.

At the same time, my biggest fear is something going horribly wrong in my home and having no money to fix it. Right now, we have no extra money for anything. Ever. We barely make enough to cover bills, and some months we don’t even have enough for that.

Our car broke down almost a year ago, and since we’re broke, we’ve had to live without a car.

That means walking our child to school every day or finding rides when weather doesn’t permit walking. It also means relying on family for our grocery shopping each month, as well as anything we need to do that is not in walking distance.

It sucks, because I know my problems are not my family’s responsibility. And yet, I have no choice but to keep asking for their help. It’s not fair to them, and it too is embarrassing to admit.

Before my panic attack last weekend, I would experience regular anxiety over the thought of anything going wrong. It’s not unwarranted, as there are a few ticking time bombs in this home ready to go off any minute.

First, our roof is badly damaged and in need of replacement. It is leaking and visibly sagging in some areas, meaning that any day now I could be dealing with a crisis far worse than what caused my panic attack Friday night. The snow and winter weather are worsening the problem, and we’ll be lucky if our roof makes it through the winter.

To get it completely replaced will be at least $5,000 (which is what a roofing company told us last summer when they looked at it), and again, we have no extra money for anything. Maybe this puts my anxiety in perspective. It is by far the biggest expense that has been causing the most anxiety.

The roof problem has been weighing on us for the past 2+ years, but I’ve been continuing to write and run the blog in hopes that it would earn us the extra money to deal with it. We currently have no money saved up for a much-needed rainy day fund.

Next, we have a furnace that was built in the 80s (this is an old house) and is due to be replaced any time. It is still working at the moment, but I’m afraid it won’t make it through the winter. If it goes out, that would be another $2-3000 at least.

Last winter, the furnace needed parts replaced which cost over $400. Fortunately, we had family around to help. But the repairman told us the entire furnace may need replaced in the next year or 2 years if we’re lucky.

I’m also worried about our water heater, which seemed to make noises last night that it doesn’t usually make. This was the cause of my smaller panic attack last night, although it could be nothing.

This is one reason I think something is not right with me. Lately, these small stresses have been causing me intense fear and panic. Then again, maybe the stresses aren’t so small. Maybe I’m just at the end of my rope, and having so little money but so many expenses is weighing too much on me.

I intend to start a Go Fund Me for the roof and make an urgent post asking readers for help with all this, but I’ve been so busy this week that I haven’t had the time or energy. I will do it soon, in hopes that readers can send funds we can save up to start dealing with it all.

As much as you have all helped us in the past – including being the reason we have this home in the first place – I hate asking for help with money. I wish I could make content you will enjoy without money being a part of the equation. Sadly, life is showing me that this just can’t happen. I need to start saving up, but to do so, I need more of an income.

For me, what went wrong in our home Friday night was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It had nothing to do with the roof, furnace, or water heater. It was a totally different problem that we knew about but did not know the extent of.

Needless to say, it was my breaking point.

I love this home, but being a homeowner is terrifying when you have no extra funds for the countless things that could go wrong. It’s given me bad anxiety for the past 3 years.

In desperate need of the money to deal with all these problems, I am now at a fork in the road. I can make one last attempt to raise funds from readers for the roof and other expenses, which again, I plan to do. My only other option is to go ahead and get a day job, which I don’t want to do but will absolutely do if necessary.

I’m willing to do anything to get the money we need for all this, even if it means taking time away from writing to work a job that will get us some extra funds we can put into a savings. It would break my heart to be away from the blog, but if I have to do it, I will.

I just can’t take this anxiety anymore. I can’t take being without a car or struggling to pay bills every month. I can’t take being scared that the roof will cave in or the furnace will go out and it will all be my fault for not working a regular job in the first place.

I can’t take the feeling that I’m asking too much of my family and not providing like I should be.

I love writing, and I want more than anything to do it for a living. But this stress is killing me.

I don’t know how to wrap this up, except to say that I love all our readers. I appreciate the support you’ve all given us more than I could ever express.

You have helped us so much, and it goes to show that this spiritual community is not all talk and no action. You’ve shown us so much compassion these past 7+ years that I get emotional just thinking about it. I can’t thank you all enough.

More importantly: I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I haven’t been around much and haven’t been as personal with you all as I was in 2013-2014 around the time you helped us get this home. I became embarrassed to admit or write about the problems we’ve been going through, even though again, you all show us nothing but compassion.

I’ve just wanted to give you great content as a thank-you for all the times you’ve helped us. I’m a twenty-something kid with very little education who felt inspired to make this stuff for a living, and you have welcomed me with open arms. I should be giving back, but I haven’t been.

Despite your support, I haven’t been writing or posting to the blog nearly as much as I should be. You’ve probably noticed, and I can’t deny it. Things have been very difficult, but that is no excuse. If in some amazing future my family can make it through this and raise the money for all our expenses, then I will really start giving back.

For now, I don’t know what will happen. Like everyone has been telling me, I just need to take it one day at a time.

I will try my best to write and post to the blog the next couple weeks while continuing to work on our home and figure out how to get the money we desperately need for our roof and other expenses. Thank you all for your support, and I’m deeply sorry that things are not going the way I envisioned.

I feel like I’ve failed you, and I hope you understand that I may need some time for my mental health while I figure out what to do with all these expenses and personal problems. I plan to be around as much as possible, but I may miss some days and for that I sincerely apologize.

Anything you can give, including positive vibes or kind words, is welcomed. I’m really struggling right now. But here’s to the hope for a brighter future.

For anyone who can help, my PayPal email is wesremal@yahoo.com. I have also set up a Go Fund Me page for the roof. If you can donate and/or share the page to your social media, we would greatly appreciate it.

Much love,

Wes Annac, Editor, Karma Yoga Daily

Featured image credit: Pixabay

Exploring Consciousness: Our Only Hope

By Wes Annac, Editor, Karma Yoga Daily

Anyone who pays attention to what’s happening in the world will see a lot of hatred. It’s enough to make us wonder why humanity is so worked up and if we can reverse our course before we destroy ourselves. I think we can, but the solution will make most people uncomfortable.

Our only hope is to explore alternate states of consciousness.

When I say, “alternate states”, some readers probably think of psychedelic drugs. Psychedelics can induce an undeniably powerful spiritual experience, but for now, let’s talk about the alternate states you can induce naturally via activities like meditation that are good for the brain.

If you’re not looking for an alternate state that’s too overwhelming but you still need to calm your mind, meditation is perfect. When done consistently, it provides a light, balanced introduction to the “other side” without the overwhelm and anxiety psychedelics can cause.

Meditation is great for helping with mood problems that stem from an overactive mind. Most importantly, it can help you open your heart. This is what the world needs, and this is why alternate states are important.

Some believe we are on the precipice of a new era in human consciousness – particularly, in the way we explore our consciousness and interact with each other. Depending on where you look, you’ll either think this is true or misguided wishful thinking.

People are indeed waking up and discovering that this world we’ve built is amazing in many ways but deeply disturbed in many others. They see how backwards our society is, and they can’t understand how others are still falling for the tricks of a system that keeps us subservient.

Despite this, the same old drama repeats itself every few years as if it’s on a cycle. It seems like nobody has learned anything from the thousands of blood-soaked years that got us here, as most of us are still fighting and killing each other as humans have always done.

We show no respect for ourselves, each other, or the creatures we share this planet with; not to mention the planet itself. How could we be undergoing a shift in consciousness when so little has changed?

I used to have a lot of big ideas about what this shift entails. At one point, I thought a glorious spiritual ascension would sweep the world, enlighten everyone, and allow us to create heaven on Earth. Now, I think this shift comes in cycles but is nevertheless our responsibility to initiate. The only evidence we will see of it is that which we create.

Nothing can happen without our participation, and the first step is to gently introduce ourselves to alternate states on a global scale.

Again, for those who are uncomfortable with using psychedelic teacher plants, meditation is a great start. It is not overwhelming or even very powerful. You determine its power by how often you practice it. This, I believe, is the first step to initiating the kind of global consciousness shift we can measure and point to as proof that something real is happening.

I believe it is, but we could miss the opportunity if we don’t explore the states of consciousness that give us a glimpse beyond our reality. The world needs the feelings of love and unity these states provide. Without them, we’ll keep killing each other and missing our greatest opportunity for enlightenment.

About the author:

31287220_1930589003619961_7591073383912046592_nI’m a twenty-something writer & blogger with an interest in spirituality, the environment, activism, music, and other awesome stuff. I run Karma Yoga Daily, a news blog dedicated to sharing daily wisdom.

This personal blog I run is pretty great, too.

Follow me on Facebook (Wes Annac, Karma Yoga Daily) and Twitter (Wes Annac, https://twitter.com/love_rebellion)

If you enjoyed this post and want to support my work, consider a donation by sending funds via PayPal to wesremal@yahoo.com.

Recent articles and videos:

No copyright. Share freely with attribution to Wes Annac and Karma Yoga Daily

Thanks for reading!

Featured image credit: Pixabay

Listen to the Intuition

By Wes Annac, Editor, Karma Yoga Daily

I wrote the following for the 311th issue of the Weekly Awareness Guide, a written document distributed weekly via email that I offer for $11.11 a month.

Income from the guide helps me get by and ensures I can continue to offer free content, and every subscription is appreciated. You can find the option to subscribe at the bottom of this post (learn about subscribing with cash/check here).

If there’s one thing about spirituality I can be sure of, it’s the intuition – the voice within that guides you and helps you make the best possible choices in life. For those who look at life in a less metaphysical and more scientific way; it could just as easily be a psychological mechanism we use to guide ourselves onto the right path.

This is one possible explanation for what in my experience is a very real thing.

I couldn’t say what exactly it is, and the word “voice” is inaccurate. It’s more of an inner knowing or a nudge to the right thought, expression, or action for that moment. Many who follow their intuition say that it feels like they have an internal guardian angel helping them through even the most mundane parts of their lives. Continue reading

Karma Yoga Decoded – Part 3

By Wes Annac, Editor, Karma Yoga Daily

Imagine you’ve experienced a spiritual awakening. Maybe you’ve realized you are more than your body, and this has motivated you to change your life. Maybe your awakening is less metaphysical and more practical. You’ve realized you have a purpose and you now want to do something good in your short time on this planet.

Fortunately, spirituality and self-improvement can be whatever you make of them. Countless paths are available, but most people recommend you create your own path in which you incorporate the best ideas from each one.

As we’ve been learning, karma yoga is one such path that borrows from various beliefs. Hailing from Hinduism and the Bhagavad Gita, karma yoga is a unique path focused not on constant prayer or meditation, but on service as a form of worship. By helping others, we serve God. Continue reading

Karma Yoga Decoded – Part 2

If you like this article, check out the first episode of the Karma Yoga Podcast.

By Wes Annac, Editor, Karma Yoga Daily

In this part, we’ll look at karma yoga from a biblical perspective. Because of this, I should make a disclaimer regarding the heavily religious nature of the things we’ll read here. In this article, we’ll read Bible verses that exemplify what religion could and should be.

I’m a little more comfortable with Buddhism, Hinduism (the religion that gave us karma yoga), and similar beliefs than Christianity or Catholicism. I think that the core of every religious teaching is to have empathy, help others, and be a good person; something Buddhism seems to encourage far more than Christianity. Despite this, the flaws of organized religion are obvious.

I could repeat them for the thousandth time, but you’ve heard it before. Religion has been responsible for war, hatred, and general nastiness throughout history. It’s not any better today. Continue reading

Introducing the Karma Yoga Podcast

By Wes Annac, Editor, Karma Yoga Daily

I’m excited to share something I’ve been working on for a while: the first episode of The Karma Yoga Podcast. This will be a scripted show in which I’ll discuss various topics including spirituality.

In this first episode, I share some interesting facts about cannabis and hemp. We also look at the life story of the man who created Buddhism. This is my first podcast, and admittedly, it’s a little cringey. It will get better!

You can listen to it at Anchor.fm.

If you like this episode, check out KarmaYogaDaily.com for articles related to everything discussed here. Also, check out Karma Yoga Daily and Aware Culture on Facebook, and follow me on Twitter @Wes_Annac and @love_rebellion. Continue reading