By Wes Annac, Culture of Awareness
Life can confront us with the most painful circumstances, and all we can do is try to accept them, work through them and move forward. It isn’t easy when we’re confronted on all sides with stresses and challenges we don’t feel like we can handle, however, and we all have our times when we want to give up – on our mission, our struggles, and life in general.
Everyone has times when they just want to find some beach to sit and meditate at for about a week and let all of their burdens and responsibilities fade. Unfortunately, life doesn’t really work this way, and we have to keep on despite that it seems like life’s picking on us or we’re stuck in a negative loop.
A lot of things are making me unhappy these days, and I’ve been pushed to the edge more than once. In a way, it’s necessary and healthy to be pushed to the edge because it allows us to emerge with more strength and perseverance, but this doesn’t make it any easier when we struggle and we don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve been dealing with all kinds of things in the past few weeks – some harder to recover from than others – and more often than not, I find myself giving up, lying in bed and asking God, the universe, my higher consciousness, or any other higher force what I’m supposed to do and how I could possibly keep going under these circumstances.
The pain, negativity and carelessness I’m witnessing in the world, the people around me and the ‘conscious’ community has made me want to give up and hide away from it all for about a month. It helps that the part of me that knows that I (as well as the rest of you) am on a mission to help people wake up and return to love would never let me throw in the towel, and it also helps to know on a deeper level that unconditional love will make things better.
While I’m somewhat aware of this, it seems like the rest of the world isn’t even trying to show love or compassion. Everybody seems argumentative lately, even ‘conscious’ people who you wouldn’t expect that kind of behavior from, and nobody seems to be willing to find peace and common ground with others.
I see people who are working for the same noble causes bickering amongst each other and separating to ‘do their own thing’, and I see apparently ‘conscious’ people leaving their center at the drop of a hat and becoming vitriolic over silly internet feuds. I see everyone around me suffering, and I honestly don’t feel love from anyone.
It’s almost as if nobody’s trying to embody the qualities that lead them away from suffering, but on a deeper level, I know they’re trying harder than ever. I too am struggling more than I ever thought I would, and the struggle is to get into a peaceful, heart-centered space where I’m free from conflict, negativity and the unstable attitude that everyone (including me) seems to have right now.
It hurts to watch so many people fight and distance themselves from love, respect and closeness, and I too have been drifting away from love and my purpose because of it all. It’s so hard not to let the world’s negativity bring you down, especially when you’re confronted by it on a daily basis, but the solution’s becoming clear despite that the struggle continues.
I had to lay down this morning instead of writing my first piece for the day, because I was too overwhelmed to keep going. As much as the inspired part of me tried to surface, it was buried under heaps of pain, sadness and frustration. So I laid down, let it all fade for a while, and awoke to the song ‘Personal Revolution’ by Ziggy Marley playing in my head.
I hadn’t listened to it or thought about it before I laid down, but as I awoke, it flooded my mind and its insightful lyrics helped me remember something that I already knew but had forgotten about in the midst of my struggle.
These are the lyrics that came to mind:
“Heartbreak is so hard to take
“And I lay down in the bed that I make
“Crying, crying, tears of change
“Fighting, fighting, every day
“I know there must be a better way”
The song then goes into the chorus, where this line is repeated a few times:
“I need, I need, a revolution. My own revolution. My personal revolution”
This is exactly what I needed, because it’s exactly how I feel. I feel like I can’t handle the world’s negativity (and the heartbreak that comes with it), and my own negative attitude always causes drama, fighting and pain that I have to resolve.
I’ve been hurting deep inside, and the tears have flowed more than once lately. Despite it all, I fight every day to stay rooted in the heart, be there for the people around me and write these articles that so many people have told me are helping them through their struggles. It takes stopping and examining your life to realize how much you’ve been fighting to be an openhearted force for love and creativity, and I too know that there’s a better way.
Like Ziggy realized when he wrote his song, the solution is a personal revolution. The solution is to look deep within, resolve these negative, hurt feelings and continue to be a force for love that the conscious community and the rest of the world can benefit from. We’ll always have to fight while we’re here, regardless of the progress we make with our personal revolution, but the fight gets easier when we remember what we’re fighting for, which, for me, is love and spiritual evolution.
We have to free ourselves from the pain, negativity and selfishness that constantly confront us. We have to let it all flow through without becoming mentally or emotionally attached to it, and we have to work with the mind and emotions instead of letting them control us or bring us down.
We have to embrace the qualities we want to see in the world, and the fight will continue to be overwhelming until we can change.
I’ll continue to struggle until I change my ways.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s hard to be a force for love and spirituality when the rest of the world is angry, cynical and hard to deal with, but I don’t have to accept the negativity the world throws my way. I don’t have to go along with other people’s rude, hateful, selfish attitudes, and I don’t have to let the constant quarreling of the people around me and the so-called ‘conscious’ community stop me from continuing with my mission.
I can do my best to be a force for love and create the life I want and truly deserve. When I have to deal with a difficult or negative situation (or difficult and negative people), I can try to respond from the heart, and when it comes down to it, I’ll know I did my best. I mentioned elsewhere this week that our best is really all we can do, and our effort will be noted if we keep going and refuse to give up.
It’s easy to be sad about all of the pain and negativity in the world, but as difficult as it is, I have to be the one to change and let every moment reflect that change. I have to examine my thoughts, feelings, words and actions in every moment to make sure I’m living from the heart, and the hardest part of it is to let go of the mind’s idea of how life should be.
If I want to see love in the world, I have to show love to the world. I have to do it regardless of how much I get burned for it, and I have to strive to make life better for everyone, myself included. I have to create all of these revolutionary personal changes, even if nobody in my life is interested in doing it too, and I know that love will help me work through my pain and frustration.
This is honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I know I have to keep going. Pain and frustration aside, I know what I’m here to do and how I want to do it and giving up now would be the worst thing to do.
I’m going to help people, with love in my heart and enough distance in my mind not to be directly affected by the pain, negativity or rudeness of others, and in doing so, I’m going to create of life I want. I know that love and spiritual awareness are the keys to solving so many of the problems, personal or otherwise, that we think are unsolvable, and I’m certain that the world will keep suffering until each person can return to love.
If I’m the only one around here to do it, then so be it. It makes the mission harder, but we came to this planet to be challenged in the first place. My challenge just happens to be a personal revolution that allows me to return to love, compassion and an array of other qualities that’ll make life better for everyone, and I might get hurt a lot.
I’ll have to keep fighting for love regardless (not physically or verbally fighting, mind you, which would be an obvious contradiction), and I know it’ll all be worth it.
I’m not giving up or letting life take me down anymore, because I’ll no longer be a victim of circumstance. Instead, I’ll rise to the occasion and consciously create my life while being there for the people who need me. I’ll constantly express my love through the power of the written word so I can help all of you, and I’ll no longer give in to pain, frustration or depression.
It’s time for love to rule the day, and I have to be the one to bring it to the surface. Hopefully, you’ll all take something from this piece and try to resolve your own pain and frustration so you too can help the world wake up and evolve, because after all, that’s why we’re here.