Fear and Resistance: Signals of Creative Evolution

Credit: jennifertwardowski.com

By Wes Annac, Culture of Awareness

This is a very personal piece, and it’s a follow-up from my last two articles about finding our purpose.

My wife is basically my therapist, and I think she deserves a paycheck for all of her help. I talk to her about most of the things I write about here (and a lot of things I don’t write about), and she’s helped me through some of my hardest creative struggles.

Recently, she’s been helping me decide on my life’s purpose once and for all. I tend to bounce back and forth from writing to music, and I enjoy both equally. It seems obvious to her (and maybe some of you) that writing is my purpose, given how much we’ve accomplished with the blog so far and how many people tell us that these articles help them.

Despite how it might seem, I haven’t been pursuing writing or blogging full time. You’d have a lot more material to read from me every week if I were, and I’ve been making extra time to pursue music because, like writing, it’s an inspiring and worthwhile pursuit.

Lately, however, I’m realizing that to take all that time out for music is to take time away from writing, the blog, and being with my family, and this has put me at a crossroads. I have to decide what I really want and embrace it, and this is why I’ve been encouraging everyone to get serious about their life’s purpose.

Credit: oprah.com

This encouragement mirrors my inner struggle to pursue my purpose, and I have a choice between what have become my two greatest passions: writing and music. I thought I could pursue both full-time and still have time for family and other responsibilities (such is the naivety of a young spiritual seeker), but since that doesn’t seem to be working, I have to make a choice. Like I said, that choice is obvious.

I need to seriously pursue writing, the blog and helping people while earning enough of a living to get by without any major financial stresses, and while I decided this days ago, I’ve been struggling to actually live up to it. Why? Because I’m suddenly dealing with some major fear and resistance toward writing.

Sitting down to start is the hardest part, and I’ve felt all kinds of emotions about letting music go in a serious sense and putting that energy into writing.

Writing is a great form of spiritual work, and believe me, I’m as passionate about it as a person can be once I actually start, but giving myself permission to pursue it has caused some monumental fears about it that, as far as I can tell, mirror the fear and resistance the rest of the world is experiencing.

Whether consciously or subconsciously, people are resisting a new world and all of the revolutionary things that’ll come with it. This is why alternative spirituality is put down in the mainstream media and anyone who talks about revolution (especially spiritual revolution) is laughed away or silenced, and our inner struggles both mirror and feed the outer struggles everyone else is going through.

The rest of the world will have to confront their fear of change (as well as the fear of things they don’t understand) when countless secrets about our reality are inevitably disclosed. Similarly, I need to confront this fear of full-time writing so I can take this work to the next level. I need to permanently leave my comfort zone and write about issues close to my heart that I never thought I’d have the guts to write about.

Bill Hicks used to say that we have two choices in life: fear or love. We can choose fear and fail to accomplish anything significant, or we can choose love, leave our comfort zone and amaze ourselves and the world. I have a choice to make, and despite what I thought when I started writing this, it isn’t between writing, music or anything else. It’s a choice between fear and love, and somehow, it’s easy and hard at the same time.

Actually choosing love and persevering in the face of all odds, completely sure of the mission, is the hard part. Fortunately, writing is the perfect outlet to get all of this out and explore it in a deeper sense. While it’s admittedly self-centered, this piece has already helped me work my way through some of this, and as long as I can keep writing and refuse to stop (except maybe at the end of the day or when other responsibilities call), I can keep the creative flow going and start really living my purpose.

It isn’t going to be easy, and in fact, I’m sure it’s the hardest thing I’ll ever do. But I have to do it, because writing is one of the best ways to raise awareness and share the good vibes. This is my purpose, and I think I’m finally ready to start living it without fear, reservation or self-censorship.

Credit: pinterest.com

There are a lot of things I want to write about that I’ve only barely discussed so far – like meditation; nature; openhearted activism and environmental hazards like fracking, chemtrails and GMOs; UFOs, extraterrestrials and government cover-ups; the physical and spiritual benefits of cannabis; the importance of unity and the personal and collective benefits of a non-dualistic outlook on life, however complacent some people think it makes you; and so much more.

I want to finally use my voice, and hopefully, you’ll all come along for the ride in this next stage of my (and our) creative and spiritual development. It’s time for us to climb to the next level, and as I’m learning, we can’t wait around for a hand to come out of the sky and pull us up there. Believe me, I’ve tried and it never works. We have to climb there ourselves, and it’ll be a challenge.

Everything will work out if we keep love in our hearts and persevere when we struggle, and the hardest part is starting the journey, releasing our resistance, taking a leap of faith and getting serious about whatever we need to do. Personally, I need to write – a lot. I need to write more than I have been, because it’s my calling and I’m ready to get playfully serious about it.

Hopefully, whatever I write from here will help you all in some way. Even if it inspires you to pursue your own creative niche, no matter what it may be, I’ll be satisfied. This is my mission, and I’m ready to kick it into high gear (or at least try). Feel free to join me by embracing your purpose and never looking back.

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